Couples in NLP

I find it interesting whenever people come up to us and talk about the fact that we are a couple and we are both doing what we love in NLP and asking us how we make it work.

Well it did not always start that way. I started my journey with NLP before my wife and after each night would go home and want to practice what I had just learned, this certainly totally freaked her out and she resisted me at every point of my journey.

While I was reading my NLP notes and read “respect for the others model of the world” I realised that it also applied to my wife and that forcing NLP on her was not respecting “her model of the world” as NLP had now become part of my model. I knew I needed to develop a vacuum so that she would naturally be drawn to what I was doing.

As I started to apply the things I had learnt into my own life, she saw a change in me that lead to her becoming curious and finally an NLP Master Practitioner and Trainer.

In our trainings we frequently get asked, how will I get my partner to take interest in NLP, should I leave books around the house, should I talk to them, tell me what should I do. Our answer is “do Nothing” that’s right do nothing. Making a vacuum for our partners is the greatest method to get them curious about NLP and what we do as practitioners of NLP.

Most of the times it is out of love for our partners, friends and family that we begin to fill the air with words regarding how they “need” NLP, without needing much tack we get on our NLP high horse failing to take into consideration that the other person doesn’t have a similar model of the world that we may have. Not leaving a space for them to become inquisitive allowing them to explore NLP on their own.

Developing a vacuum is all about giving your loved ones the choice to decide on whether or not they want to take the journey for themselves, being silent and allowing the changes in your own life as a result of what you have learnt and applied in your own life speaks louder than your words.

Respect your partner’s model of the world and enable them to become interested in NLP on their own accord will see them asking you much sooner.


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